The Aim Straight program holds to the idea that healthy marriages build healthy families and, in turn, healthy communities.
“Similar programs across the United States have shown that as healthy, strong marriages are built and maintained, divorce rates decline and, at the same time, crime and abuse decrease,” Andrews said.
With this in mind, the organization has expanded throughout Michiana.
While gathering information about the effects of unstable marriage and divorce, Andrews spoke with several area employers, who in turn told her they can often tell when an employee is having difficulties at home simply by that person’s job performance, socialization with other employees, even their attendance rates.
“So when we can strengthen the marriages we’re going to see changes on the workplace,” Andrews said.
She learned similar information speaking with school counselors.
“They’re (saying), the majority of our kids now come from either single parent homes or second marriage homes,” she said. “They have children that have anger problems, that are just restless because of instability at home.”
These things and more, Andrews felt, confirmed a need for programs like Aim Straight Marriage & Family.
Aim Straight
Aim Straight offers counseling and mentoring in three areas: Marriage preparation, marriage enrichment and choosing wisely before divorce.
Marriage preparation is for couples who are considering marriage but who would like to know more about that particular commitment.
Marriage enrichment is for couples who are already married but who would like to strengthen that bond through better communication and relationship skills.
Choosing Wisely Before Divorce is specifically designed for couples considering ending their marriage. It seeks to prevent divorce by first explaining the emotional, financial and other considerations behind it and by letting the couple know what options there are for preserving a marriage.
Couples participating in an Aim Straight program are assigned marriage mentors. These mentors are married couples, many of whom have been through one of Aim Straight’s programs. They must exhibit the traits of a strong marriage.
Mentor couple Jim and Joan Siebert of Wakarusa experienced a rough road as far as marriage. Each was divorced from a previous spouse when they met one another. Their marriage lasted a short while and also ended in divorce. However, through counseling, determination and love for one another, they were able to remarry and have remained together for 16 years. Through the program they hope to use their gained knowledge and experience to educate other couples who are struggling in their marriages.
“People really don’t have any idea what takes place in divorce, what the real effect is going to be not only on themselves individually but on their children, their families, their friends, their communities,” Jim said. “It just mushrooms out. That’s why it’s important to us.”
Though their marriage is now strong, they hope to be able to use their past experiences to help other couples. They stress, however, that their role with the program is strictly as mentors. They are available to work with and support other couples but do not act as professional counselors.
“Mentorship affords a way for a couple to have what is called an exoskeleton,” Aemmer said. “A mentor couple, trained to come alongside them and really work them through key areas and marital functions that are important.”
This, in turn, makes it easier for the counselor to work with the mentored couple.
Not only does the mentored couple benefit, the Sieberts said, so do the couples who are doing the mentoring. They receive no pay for their services, no material rewards, yet they feel that much richer for having participated in helping other couples.
“We get so much more out of it than they do,” Joan said. “Not only seeing them make it, but the benefits for us staying focused on continuing to enrich our relationships.”
“Another thing was how much it enhanced our relationship taking other couples through this,” Jim said.
Before a mentor couple receives their assignment they must undergo evaluation to ensure the match is right. Thus far, Stillson said, there have been no incidents where a couple receiving mentoring has asked to change mentors.
While many couples have already gone through the programs, Andrews feels it is too early to really measure its success. This especially holds true for the marriage preparation and enrichment programs.
“You need probably six to 10 years to say, ‘are they still together,’" she said.
While the program seeks to strengthen existing and future marriages, it does not pressure couples to get married.
“There was one couple that after preparation decided not to get married,” Joan Siebert said.
Andrews, Aemmer and Stillson do not see this as a failure, but rather as a success, because a potentially rocky marriage was altogether avoided.
More information More information on Aim Straight Marriage & Family, Inc. is available at
www.aimstraightmarriage.com .
Listeners can also tune in to
aimstraight.mypodcast.com for Aemmer's regular podcast, where he discusses various marriage-related topics and shares stories and testimonials that couples have sent in.
