By Jeff Kenney Citizen editor
When it comes to cancer, says Pam Buxton, “the attitude is huge.” That, as well as awareness of how one’s body functions, a healthy lifestyle, and the strong support of family and friends may make all the difference in the world, as they did for Buxton, the wife of Culver Academies Head of Schools John Buxton.
One year ago this month, she discovered a “kind of nagging little bloating” in the right portion of her abdomen which she decided to have examined medically. She saw the oncologist, she says, on a Wednesday and found herself scheduled for surgery that Friday. Though the absence of a long stretch of time that week to contemplate the matter was a blessing, says Buxton, “it was a tough week, especially hearing the word ‘cancer’ and especially ‘ovarian cancer.’ Everybody hears that and thinks, ‘That’s it.’”

Buxton was fortunate in that the tumor in her right ovary was in a transition stage between benign and cancerous, though the doctor assigned her eight rounds of chemotherapy as a precaution after the surgery. She began the treatments at the end of November.
At the time and in the months that followed, says Buxton, her approach was “to live one day at a time; that was a tremendous help for me.
“The support from my family was unprecedented,” she adds. “My husband was fantastic. He went right on board and just got me focused on keeping active, doing exercise – I was up every single day.”
Beyond family, a groundswell of support for Buxton from the Culver community – the Academies and beyond – included students (who made a DVD for her to tell her how much they missed her), alumni, and teachers.
“Just everyone,” she recalls. “I was getting notes every other day. I’m sure most people don’t get that -- it was huge.”
Pam Buxton describes herself as “a very optimistic person.”
“I didn’t let (the cancer) get me down. You strike while it’s hot and you go day to day to day. I did get through it with a lot of humor, especially when you lose your hair and your husband shaves your head!”
Through it all, she says, husband John juggled his voluminous responsibilities as Head of Schools with his family life “beautifully.”
“He was able to compartmentalize everything. I think it actually made him more of an effective leader. He said, ‘We’ll have shorter meetings.’ It was amazing. And we’re still doing that…we went through it together.”
In January, 2009, she was asked by Culver’s Relay for Life committee to give the Luminaria speech at the April 17 event, something she was enthusiastic to do because, she says, she “wanted to share an experience which was more positive than negative.”
In her speech, Pam Buxton outlined for the audience five lessons she learned from her experience.
“One: take good care of yourselves. Eat healthily, be physically active, stay strong emotionally, and find humor in life.
“Two: listen to your body and be aware of how it functions. Keep yourself educated about health issues and be proactive so if a life threatening disease should pay you a visit, you will be better equipped and ready to fight it.
“Three: be sure you are working with a doctor you trust and respect because you deserve that.
“Four: remember that positive and uplifting messages and stories to those fighting cancer and to their families can go a long way to helping them cope emotionally. Also, there’s no place for pity. Those of us dealing with cancer, either personally or through loved ones are no different than we were before the diagnosis.
“And five: stay positive because your attitude is what will carry you to the finish line. Chemo can only take you so far.”
Buxton completed her own chemo therapy treatments five days after the Relay event. Since then, she says she’s had “wonderful test results” and her doctor is extremely happy, as is she, that it all worked out. He encouraged her to continue to keep her immune system strong to be better able to fight any other cancer cells in her body. She continues to work hard at exercising and eating well.
She says awareness of her body’s functions was and is essential.
“I wanted them at Relay to understand if you really know your body and be as healthy as you can, if something happens like cancer, you can get to it a lot sooner than if you’re not aware of your body and how it functions.”
In that context, Buxton told her Relay audience, “I remember our 12 year old granddaughter, Drake, saying, ‘Nan, you probably saved your own life!’
“Maybe I did,” she adds.