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It’s that time again: picking the lesser evil by Angel Perkins

September 10, 2012

Well, it’s that time again. No, I don’t mean the time to start choosing seasonal items of clothing from your “closet” boxes or bins. No, not the time to get into the swing of school or not having the kids at home. I don’t even mean the time for closing up the beaches or to “fall back” with our clocks.
It’s time for the politicians to get down and dirty. Why is that really? Of course they want to win. Of course they feel they are the best choice. Of course they want to convince us of that. But personally, I’d feel much more comfortable voting for someone that didn’t sell him/herself so much and didn’t poke at their opponents.
I would much rather vote for the guy not standing in a suit at a podium but rather, the guy that the media is following because he’s getting his hands dirty helping people that are facing flooding. I would rather vote for someone too busy for press visits but who is being promoted on Facebook by the number of people sharing the videos of him dishing out food at the local food kitchen every Friday night.
My perfect candidate would have come from nothing — born in a trunk — and who put himself through high school washing dishes in a sleazy restaurant and who, after paying his way through business college working three jobs, paid for his parents to get whatever help they needed — he was born in a trunk remember? Gotta be something off there.
He (or she), would be disgusted by $400 suits, off-shore accounts, and even the mere suggestion of taking Air Force Once (of which’s operating costs run from $56 to $68k an hour) for a trip to here or there. I want a president that has never gotten a shoe shine or cashed in a savings bond. One that never cheated on his spouse or hired the services of a woman-for-hire (take that any way you want to — works for all of them). I want a president that has a grandma sitting in her leaky mobile home trying to decide if she should get her heart medication or pay her electric bill. Of course, I would expect once he was in the presidency he would move her somewhere more acceptable.
And he wouldn’t live in the White House. He would instead make it the biggest orphanage in the planet, taking every child in the United States off the streets and it wold be run by professional: educators, medical staff, guards, kitchen crews, and etc. He wouldn’t drive around with a caravan of bodyguards but would use the money spent each year on them (think of the magnitude — heck, even Newt spends $40,000 a day on security guards) to pay back everyone our nation owes so we can stop being known as the planet’s moocher.
My president would make changes, good changes, and would require his staff and supporters take lie-detector tests to make sure they were on the up-and-up. He would also require drug tests for anyone working for the government as well as those living off of it. My president would pledge allegiance to the flag, pray openly, and kiss his wife because he loved her, not because the cameras happened to be looking.
My president wouldn’t be anti-Semitic, racist or homophobic. He would treat his fellow man, whether in a fancy restaurant or picking out of the trash can behind it, with exactly the same respect and would agree or agree to disagree most graciously.
Did you know that of all the living creatures, mankind is the only one that will just attack another of our kind for no reason at all? Animals attack to protect or preserve (as in their children, food or territory) but people are just plain scary.
My perfect president would pay the Chinese to build a wall across our borders so people would have to be honest when coming over. We have to go through rigmarole to visit another country — fair is fair and that’s what this country was based on.
Why the Chinese? Hello. The wall they built over there is pretty impressive and undeniable durable.
My president would make every governmental entity buy their supplies at Sam’s Club or Staples (so as to curb unnecessary spending) and instead of sending spaceships to other planets, spend that time and money on ways to grow food in the desert or better yet, to farm a garden large enough to feed the hungry in our own country.
My president would be all about honesty, kindness, fairness, hard work and dedication. He (again, or she) would be faithful, generous and ridiculously intelligent. He would use common sense and logic to solve problems — and to have these qualities, my president would have to be entirely fictitious. And if there had been such a person alive in any of the more respectable of decades, he will likely never be seen on this Earth again as each generation grows further and further from those standards. So, as with every year, it’s that time, time to trust and believe no one and choose whom I think is the lesser of two evils.

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